I'm at Wiscon 34, a ~1000 person feminist science fiction convention in Madison, Wisconsin. This is my second time here. I came in 2007, mostly because good friends of mine in Chicago come yearly and encouraged me. This year, several friends from Boston are also here.
I don't remember why exactly I decided to come this year. I've been planning to come back eventually, and now that I've graduated, I have time. I didn't come here with many expectations. The day before my flight, I honestly didn't want to come very much at all, but I'd paid for too much in advance, and had connecting flights for a short trip to Indiana after this, and it would have been terribly complicated to drop out. Also, I was pretty sure that I would have a good time once I got here.
At first, it was a pretty chill con for me. I showed up a day early so I wouldn't be rushed and travel-grumpy on the first day. I made sure to get enough sleep every night, which involved sleeping through a lot of morning panels. I was not super attached to any one panel or event, and was pretty flexible with my schedule, switching panels freely if they were not interesting enough. I made time to hang out with the people that I came here to see. I was interviewed for a master's dissertation, and I adore being interviewed. Panels and conversations were interesting enough, but I had no big goal, I was just enjoying myself.
Today was different. I went to a reading that was just emotionally gutting, recovered some, then went to a panel that was good but emotionally fraught. I went to dinner, had a good time, then had conversations about complicated topics that mean a lot to me. Then dessert, then even more conversations about complicated topics. Last night I blogged that I felt I should become a bit more radical in my politics. After those conversations I was starting to feel like I need to take action with certain groups in my life to do things like increase diversity and try to make better spaces and help educate people on certain topics. Then Mary Anne Mohanraj gave an absolutely amazing Guest of Honor speech that left me in tears, and may have caused a significant change in the rest of my life. I have a lot to process. People have been noticing that I look off. I'm exhausted and I wish the con wasn't about to end because I want so much more, but on the other hand if I did this for too many days in a row I would probably just die. I am going through *such* a period of transition, oh, it makes my head spin. Thank goodness I have such good grounding back home in Boston. I'm spending the next few days with one of my best friends in Indiana, then back home to Boston. I feel more and more like I am at a turning point in my life, and I am fascinated to see where it might take me. You're welcome to come along for the ride. :)
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