MIT: One year on

(Our internet is down, so I'm writing from my phone, so I expect this to be brief)

The MIT class of 2010 graduated on Friday. Today I found my MIT freshman class photo, taken on August 26, 2010. I feel like... I should feel more. I've always been rather sentimental, and put great stock in things like anniversaries and things in that general category. People have told me that the first year out is the roughest. That certainly would be nice! Overall, its been a pretty good year, except for my crazy startup job that was too similar to the bad parts of MIT.

When I look back, I am still proud of what I accomplished, and still just a bit shocked I actually made it through, but right nw, the main emotion is disbelief at how crazy I let mit make me. I still remember just how desperately I wanted to graduate, and the ridiculous sacrifice I made, the horrible thing I did to my body and my health and my mind. What was I thinking? It's absurd. I can't imagine voluntarily suffering like that again unless someone's life was literally on the line. Such madness.

Everyone suffers some at mit, but the people I find I can connect most easily with on this topic are other people who didn't do the 8 consecutive terms option. If you get into mit, leave, and then have to convince the to take you back... it requires some soul searching, and a much more informed decision to enter hell than any high schooler could make. We knew how bad it was, and experienced extra badness in one way or another, and we came back for more.

Don't get me wrong, MIT was a fabulous experience in many ways, formative and transformative in more way than I even am aware of yet, I'm sure. I found the most important people in my life, and I have no idea who I'd be without MIT, but MIT and I had a messed up relationship, and it was bad for me in a lot of ways. I feel like I've spent this year detoxing getting the bad stuff out of my system. I'm wiser and happier now, I'm more self aware and more at peace, I'm more grown up. I don't know where I'll be in a year, but I'm okay with that. I think I will probably stop counting the months since I graduated from MIT. MIT is not the most important thing in my life anymore!

Congratulations, class of 2010. I hope your lives only get more awesome from here!